Movie Review: Jonah Hex

5. I read an interview by one of the creators of the "Jonah Hex" movie in which he said it would be impossible to pace this Western to match the great spaghetti Westerns because studios would never distribute it.

4. I'm guessing the reason for that is they don't think such a movie would make any money in the hyperbolic modern marketplace, which defies logic as the so-called "Man With No Name" trilogy still rakes in cash with multiple cable and satellite TV airings and DVD and Blu Ray sales.

3. Nonetheless, "Jonah Hex" makers decided to go with something to benefit the attention deficiet disorder generation — a godawful annoyance that attempts to be a parable about terrorism, the Obama Administration and a whole bunch of other stuff that is even dumber than it sounds.

2. This movie is a waste of the talented Josh Brolin, who plays scarred bounty hunter Hex, goofball actor John Malkovich, who plays a villain with bad hair, and, heck, it's even a waste of all-jiggle-no-act Megan Fox, who manages to be unconvincing as a prostitute.

1. "Jonah Hex" is based on a DC comic book from the 1970s that was clearly derivatives of Clint Eastwood Western archatypes and if the mopes who made this film could've taken anything from the source material — or even Westerns — it should've been the old addage: "Dance with the girl that brung ya."

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"Jonah Hex"
Run time: 1 hour, 21 minutes
Rated PG-13
Genre: Action-Adventure-Drama-Suspense-Thriller‎
Director: Jimmy Hayward
Cast: Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Megan Fox, Will Arnett, Michael Fassbender
Finney's Flicks Grade: D-