Thursday, August 19, 2010

Movie Review: "The Expendables"

5. "The Expendables" is like watching Mike Ditka erectile dysfunction TV commercials: You're vaguely aware old people have sexual relations (or starred in action films), but you really didn't want to be reminded of it.

4. I credit Sylvester Stallone with squeezing one more good story each out of the "Rocky" and "Rambo" franchises — both 21st century sequels were the best since the respective series began — but his effort in "Expendables" fails to inflate the 1980's era of shoot-'em-up action flicks it attempts to pay homage.

3. Like most all-star gatherings, whether they be in sport or film, the spectacle suffers from trying to give everybody enough screen time to justify their paychecks.

2. In the case of "The Expendables," it lengthens a movie that would have been OK at 90 minutes but seems lethargic at 103 minutes —which may be what Ditka had in mind for Levitra commercials, but it doesn't mean it's any more fun for the audience.

1. My nostalgia for this genre of films knows no bounds — I own "Cobra" on DVD for crying out loud — but I left the theater feeling a great swell of indifference, which I took as either a sign I've grown up since I spent my dad's money to see "Tango and Cash" or this movie just isn't as fun as it should have been.

"The Expendables"
Run time: 1 hour, 43 minutes
Rated R
Genre: Action-Adventure
Director: Sylvester Stallone
Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Terry Crews, Randy Couture and Steve Austin
Finney's Flicks Grade: C-

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